I start crying every time I sit down to write this post. Why did I choose to participate in the Susan G Komen Seattle 3-Day event. Both of my grandmothers had breast cancer and had their breasts removed. Both of them survived. One of them I didn’t see suffer, I didn’t even know she had it until it was pretty much over. The other grandmother I watched her go through chemo, lose her hair, wear her wigs and be sick to her stomach for over a year. Luckily it worked and she recovered. I also watched an aunt fight cancer for almost two years before she finally lost the battle.
This summer though, unrelated to her cancer, my grandmother that I watched suffer before, became suddenly very very ill. She was in the hospital and the reasons on Facebook didn’t make sense so I called to find out what was wrong and it changed from day to day and suddenly I just felt like I HAD to be there. I went to be with her in Texas and spent two weeks in the hospital waiting with my family and just spending some time talking to her. Most of the time she was asleep or out of it we weren’t really sure because her brain was where her injury was, we just didn’t know the cause.
We found her living will that said she didn’t want to live plugged into machines and we pulled the plug. I said goodbye to her, we all said good bye to her and it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, maybe it actually was THE Hardest things I’ve ever done. I lost my inspiration for the Seattle 3-Day. I wanted to do this for her. I thought I was dealing with it but I’ve been avoiding it. I know I can still walk in her memory, and in my aunts memory and for my surviving grandmother but I’ve just been unmotivated by it.
So I find myself sitting here wondering….Why Walk?
My chances of getting breast cancer are pretty high. Grandmother on each side had breast cancer and my aunt had it. There still isn’t a cure. The money we raise for the 3-Day event and other events like this helps women with early detection and goes towards finding a cure. So I walk for me, I walk for them. I also walk for my daughter and her future children. I want to support the Susan G. Komen 3-Day for our future.