Watching Ye Olde Joust at Medieval Times

Photo courtesy Experience Kissimmee & Medieval Times.

During my stay in Florida, I experienced another first when I visited a Medieval Times location. I’ve never been to one of these since they don’t have it in Oregon, but I had heard quite a bit about them. Medieval Times is like a combination dinner buffet/Las Vegas-style extravaganza, housed inside a faux castle and providing you with a show (very) loosely based on Medieval Spain.

One thing that makes the Orlando location unique is the fact that is has an “Authentic Medieval village”, their Medieval Life Museum. We only had time for a very quick tour before our show started – tours generally last 45 minutes – but we got a quick peek at the exhibits on hand. Apparently, the artifacts on display are a mixture of genuine and replica.

We were assured that the torture devices on display were just replicas….or were they?! Luckily, we didn’t get on their bad side and thrown into the blogger dungeon, so we didn’t find out. 😉

After a quick peek around the museum, we headed inside the main “Castle” to sit down for the show. You are given special color-coded cards upon entry that lead you to a particular section in the arena. Each section has its own knight; we sat in the blue section, so we were given Burger King-style crowns and blue pennants to wave in support of the Blue Knight.

Upon seating, a handmaiden appears to ask what kind of grog you’d like; I went for a Ye Olde Pepsi. In order to make it truly Medieval, no cutlery is provided – just a plate. The whole time, I thought about how much Jai would have loved this place, since he despises dishes and will tell you about how useless they are any chance he gets. Fortunately, for those of us who aren’t used to gnawing on a drumstick with our bare hands like Jai, wet naps are provided! I’m usually a bit prissy when it comes to this sort of thing, so it must have been entertaining watching me trying to eat a piece of chicken with my hands while simultaneously waving my pennant for the Blue Knight and trying to Instagram my dinner with greasy chicken hands. 😉

Food, grog, and ye olde moist towelette

Everyone gets the same meal (Unless you are vegetarian and request that dish), so it starts off with a bowl of soup and piece of bread. For the main course, you receive a seriously giant piece of chicken, a BBQ rib, and a potato wedge. For dessert, you receive an apple tart and coffee. The handmaiden walks down the line with a large tray and tongs, dispensing each new course onto the diners’ plates; it was a novel way to eat a meal! The chicken was pretty plain, but I thought the meal was adequate enough and certainly a million times better than what I would have eaten in 1100.

Hey, YOU try taking a good photo in the dark with chicken grease on your hands!

While you eat, you are presented with a 2-hour show in the main arena, hosted by the Royal Court. The Knights gallop out on horseback and have a grand joust along with swordfighting and other grand theatrics; a hawk even flies over the audience at one point. They go all out staging a show with acting, lighting, animals, and stunts! You can check out my Instagram video of the action by clicking here.

I found Medieval Times to be a very one-of-a-kind experience and quite entertaining. I enjoyed myself and would return!

Hear Ye! Hear Ye! For More Information:

Medieval Times
4510 West Vine Street
Kissimmee, FL 34746
Phone: 1-866-543-9637

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