This last week was just about enough to give me a nervous break down. Or maybe it’s been building for a little longer than that. First I’m going to be honest and say I’ve been without an anti-depressant for a few months now and it’s suddenly caught up with me.
If you are a good friend of mine or a great follower of MomStart then you know that my kids are into modeling and acting and I love supporting them. It’s just doing that and teaching them and doing my blog has become a juggling act I’m not sure how to handle right now.
Let’s start with last Saturday. We drove to Portland and back for a five minute audition. Why can’t the auditions be in Seattle? I’m just don’t get it. Zoe actually had two possible commercials that would have shot today but we didn’t hear anything so that’s that. Sunday was a quiet family day, Monday we did school all day and had a piano lesson that went very well. So my week started out great.
Tuesday was a quiet day, my husband and I even made it to the gym to work out, but then on Wednesday he came home and said I needed to cancel my press trip. I was a little in shock. We had talked about the possibility but when he came home and so matter-of-factly told me I had to cancel I think I went into shock.
So I thought about ways to get around me having to stay home. Who could watch my kids? I have friends that would have helped out but who could do school and do all of their modeling and acting things if anything was to come up? That was more than I could put on anyway. Wish family was closer but that’s not life. I canceled on a press trip, it was only the second cancellation for me out of six years so my odds are very much in my favor for that.
I canceled, then all hell broke loose on my phone. Apparently, well let me start from the beginning. Thursday was a day of events here in Seattle. There was a travel event and a Microsoft event. I agreed to pay five bloggers to attend the event anytime during that day. All they had to do was take a photo and tweet it or e-mail it to me. That was it. A few of them got greedy and started asking for things. Then they had to complain about how they drove all the way from Oregon to come to such a lame event. Which wasn’t true because they drove all the way from Oregon to attend the other travel event where they actually received a TON of swag. So who’s on the line for their behavior? ME!!!
I WAS PISSED!!!
I’m in the car with the kids dealing with this while we are waiting for the kids dance class to start and of course they get rowdy and I go on a yelling rampage. I totally apologized later, it’s not the right thing to do, take it out on the kids that was all wrong.
It doesn’t help that I’m depressed of course. That makes all my emotions even worse and dealing with something like this even harder. I hate having an emotional disorder. So it’s all out there for you guys to read. If I’m not around I’m just finding ways to deal!