I have never had a full blown anxiety attack but I do have anxiety. I get anxiety for all kinds of different reasons. I have it when I stress when I worry and when I’m going to be around a group of people. Then when I’m around a group of people I freak out inside. It’s been almost nine months since I’ve been on a business trip and around a large group of people. I FREAKED out inside. My chest felt tight, I felt dizzy and stressed. I didn’t know what to do.
I had to keep to myself a bit but I didn’t want people to think that I’m rude. I’ve been told before that when someone first met me they thought I was a b!t$&. You know?!!? People are quick to judge you and that added to my stress. I wanted to be friendly when everything inside of me wanted to shut down. I haven’t felt this strong of anxiety in ages. I think years even, but it wasn’t like some people experience I know. It’s just my version.
I had a few people helping me through by reminding me to think of my kids and other things. I think just pulling into myself also helped. I’m hoping that getting back on the saddle and traveling more will get me back to that point where I can be around people and not freak out like I did. I used to be able to do this.
I know this post is all over the place. I just had to keep the fact that I’m going to be using my blog to post my feelings again. If anyone reads them or not that’s ok with me. I’m getting it out there and feeling better by sharing. Oh and by the way I’m completely exhausted