Perhaps our mistake is that we give Zoe a warning, “Do you want to go on the naughty spot"?” when she is doing something that we are not very happy with. Let’s say, I just asked her to wipe her face and hands after dinner before she gets down to get everything sticky. She says
“No, I won’t”
So, I say, “do you want to go on the naughty spot”
She says, “Yes, I want to go on the naughty spot”
First I’m in shock, she wants to go on the naughty spot. Hmmm, does that mean I need to come up with a new punishment. I am not fond of spanking and pretty sure what just transpired does not even deserve a spanking, that’s for very serious offenses.
She is only three so is her brain capable of trying reverse psychology on me? Is she really trying to keep herself off of the naughty spot by saying she wants to go? So I’ve decided to say, fine, and be very very serious.
I put her on the naughty spot and tell her, “You are on the naughty spot because you were not listening to mommy”
Then when she gets off she’s a good girl. So no matter how her brain is working the naughty spot is still helping change her attitude. I do have very good kids.
You know, she does the same thing when she’s tired. She always tells me that she needs a nap and if I don’t listen to her she has a meltdown. It’s like she just knows she can’t handle the rest of the day unless she gets her nap, I just hate putting her down at 11 or earlier because then our afternoon will just drag on and on and on.
What does your child do?
Wow! I have had one of my sons volunteer to do that too. If it still works even if she’s willing, then keep using it. If it stops working, change the location of the spot. Is yours where she can still see and interact with the family (or pets) easily? Ours is on the staircase, bottom stair. It isn’t right in the middle of things, so they can’t easily try to talk or watch TV or anything. It works better than a chair in the dining room, which is what I had been using. I think of things like discipline as very changeable. What works now may not work in a year, or even a month. Always be ready with a back-up plan!
My daughter does this too- I do the same thing- first trying not to laugh though lol, but after a bit she understands it is not as fun as she thought!
I actually read somewhere that the ‘naughty spot’ or ‘time out chair’ should be a positive experience and should be labeled as a place where children take time off from whatever they are doing (usually something wrong) and rest and cool off a bit. So if she likes the time out spot, you are one lucky momma becasue maybe she already understands that when she sits down, she has a little time to herself and helps to sort out her feelings. She is such a smart little girl!!
Thank you Orshi for telling me that. Seeing it from a different perspective will help me a lot. I do think she’s a really smart little girl and she has such a good attitude.
Sounds like you have a very smart little girl. Sometimes I think kids just need a break and if they get a minute or two to themselves they can get a hold of themselves and are in better moods after. Definitely listen to her if she’s tired, that’s something my daughter used to do and it was wonderful. Now that she’s four she’ll tell you that she’s never tired!
When I first introduced the naughty spot my toddler tested it out and hit me on purpose so he could sit in the naughty spot.. he would do things he knew was not alright and say “go sit” as he pointed. I let him do it for a bit and then he stopped.. he decided that wasn’t a fun game anymore. But he does melt down when I don’ t let him go to sleep when he wants to also! He knows when he is to tired and needs his sleep.
Our son does that too sometimes with time-outs in his room. We handle it the same way you did calmly and seriously and hope that we are encouraging him to recognize his need to take a break.
I honestly don’t remember that far back of what my daughter did when she was that little. But we just spent a few days with my 3 year old nephew, and he was being naughty while we were visiting. My sister was doling out his punishment and then not even 10 seconds later, he gives her the most precious smile and says “Mommy, I love you”. I’m sure 3 year old psychology was completely at work there!
the boy I nanny for is good after sitting in the corner, but it lasts maybe 5 minutes. He says sorry and thinks it solves everything…but he does it again and again. ugh
xoxoxo
I’m having a hard time with J being 3 yo. I need to learn patience and how to calm myself so these are traits I can pass on to my children. I really like what Orshi said too. I need to learn to give my child a spot to cool down in and I need to give myself a spot to cool down in too. I think this is so hard because J will push my buttons until I get too mad. I’ve prayed for more patience, but I think I need to work on practicing and praying for it more. Best of luck with it LB. You’re a great mom and you have a great kids!
Thanks Summer,
You’re a good mom too! Praying would help me too. There must be somethiing in the air because our children are all pushing our buttons. I feel like I have no patience lately, but it was nice to go to your party the other day. I was talking with Kate and she reminded me that my homones are all a mess because of my surgery and I shouldn’t be so hard on myself. SOmetimes I just want to cry, or scream and mostly, it’s scream. So I feel really bad for the kids!
I would love to hang out with you at Tot Spot, name the time and place, as long as it is after August 9th. I’m going to New York next week!
P.S. – I like Zoe’s hair in this picture!
LOL…a little girl I used to babysit used to do that, but it turned out to be a bluff because she did NOT like it when her brother and I were having fun in the next room and she was (temporarily) left out…